tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5186497014349775671.post4112439736017669138..comments2023-07-11T03:07:02.770-07:00Comments on The 49th Year: Marriage: The shift from ideal to realAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07930796856020938418noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5186497014349775671.post-25340040504535447842012-10-02T21:09:56.296-07:002012-10-02T21:09:56.296-07:00Albie--Just saw this comment. Love thinking of it ...Albie--Just saw this comment. Love thinking of it not as the end of a honeymoon, but the gift of longevity. So lovely.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07930796856020938418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5186497014349775671.post-46653652109461153202012-08-04T12:08:21.711-07:002012-08-04T12:08:21.711-07:00The love I have now, is one that started out diffi...The love I have now, is one that started out difficult. We had lots of issues of trust and mistrust to work through, and thankfully, we have for the most part. In so many ways, he is not the type my friends could have imagined me with...he is anxious and more of a loner than me by far. But now, there is this tacit acknowledgement we have that we love each other AND we know the other isn't going anywhere. I think some couples take that to mean it's time to take the other for granted, the little hurts and jabs and eye rolling don't count as much....and neither do the loving gestures.<br /><br />But we didn't come together to hurt each other, even though we still manage to do it sometimes. The way I see it, the couples who really last are the ones who know the other can hold their crap. I said he was a loner, but I have been single most of my life...I just had many good friendships around me. I had lots of personal demons to work out, and I did....as much as I could on my own. At some point though, I needed a mirror to help me see things and that is what my partner does for me.<br /><br />He has shown me things about myself that are just gross, to be honest. But he's also shown me things that I didn't know were there to cherish and I've done the same for him.<br /><br />My first partner, who died suddenly and before we could get out of the honeymoon phase had parents who everyone tells me had a remarkable love affair. He told me his father never entered a room without touching his mother and that they told each other they loved each other every day. To this I added always reminding myself how grateful I am for this relationship, and how grateful and proud I am for my partner....and sometimes that is A LOT easier than at others.<br /><br />Still, I think the shift you describe isn't a loss of the honeymoon so much as a gift of longevity. Celebrate it. xoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01217151513382012081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5186497014349775671.post-30690210512765301982012-08-03T11:36:03.799-07:002012-08-03T11:36:03.799-07:00I just read your blog, and we have much in common,...I just read your blog, and we have much in common, late-bloomer-wise. Glad I discovered it, and thanks for commenting.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07930796856020938418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5186497014349775671.post-68866353353220508572012-08-03T11:24:27.482-07:002012-08-03T11:24:27.482-07:00I dated my husband on and off for 20 years before ...I dated my husband on and off for 20 years before we married, in 2009, and I felt exactly the same way you describe in your second to last paragraph. It was an interesting shift. <br /><br />Unfortunately, I've also felt some of the same things you described in the rest of the post, where you describe the honeymoon period being over. Actually, now that I think about it, we never really had a honeymoon period.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com