On the Verge of Fifty

Hello, all--it's laggardly me, scheduled (if all goes well) to turn 50 in 16 days. I have neglected this blog pretty much since I made the transition from full-time at SELF to a freelance writer/editor, and it's kind of taken me this long to get comfortable with it. (I'm resilient, but at a slow pace.)

Well, I finally think I'm adjusting. Because I'm not just liking, but loving life here in the rural Quiet Corner of CT. It's kind of a life-changing thing for me to be living out of the city, a place I have always loved and have never wanted to leave. But I am being seduced by nature. Every morning, my husband and I get up and dive into our little pond and swim across, about 800 strokes RT, sometimes twice a day. I have a nice amount of work and often I do it in the gazebo, overlooking the stream and pond, my feet propped on one of the knotty cedar railings, the burbling of the water my soundtrack. (I know, it sounds almost melodramatically bucolic.)

I've been writing, editing, and getting into a new life rhythm, one that definitely feels healthier than eating out every night after sitting at my computer all day, albeit with the occasional 30 minute run tossed in a few times a week. I'm feeling stronger now than I have in a while--lots of trekking from barn to gazebo to beach to house and back again--and, the fact that we've had a broken refrigerator for nearly 3 weeks now means we've pretty much been eating raw foods. Plus, I launched my first successful Gazebo Workshop, a weekend retreat for the personal essay. (Next sessions are September 7-8th and 19-20th.


I was worried about being lonely here, but it turns out I don't mind being alone with my work during the day--in fact, it's nice to know there will only be quiet, no interruptions, and the option to jump in the lake or go for a run whenever I feel like it. I've always needed quiet to work well--now I have it in spades, other than the sounds of water and birds and, occasionally, outdoor equipment. It's been interesting, too, living with my husband 100 percent of the time. A big adjustment to the marriage, as we shift from the ideal to the real, a sometimes- bumpy transition, I'll admit, but a necessary one. When you're married, your partner really does see your worst (and best) sides, and yet they have to love you anyway. I think that's character building. :-)

Below, a few highlights of summer, so far, including a video of Randy's latest project--the raising of an 800-foot zip line that will stretch from a maple by our deck across a meadow and over the water to a little island, some beaching in Maine and other fun stuff. I will try to keep on this in these last two weeks of my 40s--I think it's going to be an interesting, different and soul-expanding decade.

Happy on the beach (Ocean Park, ME)

Better than fireworks

Lobster roll with a view