Monday, August 6, 2012

Unsatisfying encounters of the married kind

Age 49: Day 8

No, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about the difficulty of trying to connect under less than ideal circumstances. First, there's geography: After a weekend of lots of togetherness, my husband and I have to adjust to the rapid-fire immersion back into our faux single lives. It starts with the harsh Monday morning 5 AM wakeup call. Randy makes the coffee. I make the toast (with peanut butter and banana slices) and pack it up to go. We're on the road by 5:45 on good days, and sometimes both of us are so sleepy, we just sit in silence and hold hands while he drives. Then a fitful sleep on the train (Amtrak's "quiet" car is a must at that hour) and back to Times Square, to plunge into email, deadlines and meetings while the weekend fades away.

Worst thing is, by 11 pm, both my s.o. and I are tired and not in the mood to talk. So our good night phone conversations can sometimes get irritable--not necessarily at each other, but at life. Does this happen with couples who are together 7 days a week?

On the positive side, we had a wonderful, guest-less weekend. I love my friends and I love entertaining, but I'm learning that when you have a little house on a lake, you need to resist the impulse to have friends over swimming every weekend of the summer. This weekend, the only one with no guests, was productive yet lazy--work, swims, late sleeping and snuggling, breakfast on the deck, reading, trip planning and I even did some....chores! Raked the beach, spruced it up and got one more swim in before the skies opened up. Made me remember how much I love hanging out with my husband, no plans, just two days with hours ahead of us. The nicest part of marriage.

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